i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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