I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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