I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
