Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize