This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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