You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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