just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
