It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
