he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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