"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Ā¯ and "Why tacos?"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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