Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
