God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will be naked everywhere
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
