i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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