dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
