Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize