just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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