yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
