I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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