She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
