Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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