Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
