I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
