"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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