I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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