too bad you live with your parents still
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
