i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
