Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
