some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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