Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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