East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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