He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
