You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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