i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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