TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
