I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
