so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
