i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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