how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
