she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
