just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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