i barfeds in our rink
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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