You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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