recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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