I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
