At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
