So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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