Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
