that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
