i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
