I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
