Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
