3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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