i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
