because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
so much tequila, so little girl.
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