Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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