Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
