Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
