he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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