I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
