Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
