Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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