If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
