Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
