did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
