All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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