Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
